180: I AM ART!

I asked a friend who knows me by the name of JM. He doesn't know my Secret Identity as Sacred Agent ART:

***What do you think an I good at?

>>>algebra! hehehe!

*** Ayako na kita kausap (I don't want to talk to you anymore)

>>>hirap p tanong m e...sbi m dn mgaling ka dun db? ARTS. un c jm
db?hehe! (That's a tough question. You told me you're good at
it(algebra) also, right? ARTS. That's JM (my nickname),
right?)

***ART. Kilala mo ba si Art? (Do you know Art?)

>>> malawak b? e malawak tlga un e..malikhain ka.magaling ka dun.
=) ({art} covers a lot of things. You are creative. You are
good at it)

*** Si Art? Ako ba tinutukoy mo? (Who? Art? Are you
referring to me?)

>>> Ikaw yun. (Yes, that's who you are.)

Ako nga pala si ART!!! I AM ART!!!

I asked him "What Am I Good At?" as a candid opinion of discovering what am I really good at so I should focus on developing that skill.

Unexpectedly, it turned out to be an encouragement and a reminder that I am Sacred Agent Art who had dedicated her life making God smile.

Great!

Know Sacred Agent Art's Mission Statement here!

179: Freedom of Speech

Last Thursday I asked for my Pastor's advice regarding my big family dilemma. It was such a burden for me. A burden that I have been keeping to myself. My mother have another 'guy' in her life. And it hurts me so to see her go so low in that manner. Things like these should stop. It's wrong in the eyes of men and mostly in the eyes of God.

10 years of pain...

Well, I had been gloomy for the past weeks... it probably started when I started reading the book of Matthew as a simple reading of 'knowing' what the book contains. I thought I should read the New Testament just like reading an ordinary story book - no seeking, no understanding what God has to say to me - just plain reading. In one night I have read almost 12 chapters of Matthew, listing every story I may run into. And then I stopped. I stopped not because I am not interested or it's getting boring, nor because I was getting sleepy.

I was bothered by some of the verses that I have read - - -

22But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a
causeshall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his
brother,Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou
fool,shall be in danger of hell fire.

23Therefore if thou bring thygift to the
altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought againstthee;

24Leave
there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way;first be reconciled to thy
brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
(Matthew 5: 22 - 24)

I think this proves how the Bible is really alive, no matter how I try to read it like just an ordinary book it still speaks to me.

How God spoke to me in that way? If you know me, you've guessed it right.

Oh well, a faithful church member, a Sunday School Teacher (toddlers), a Bible student. I've been doing and spending much of my time helping the church while my family sinks deeper into sin. The point is, I've been offering myself and yet I have lots of unfinished problems with my family. God said I should leave my offering and be reconciled first. Well, whether that's a literal 'leaving the ministry' or not what roams around my mind is reconciliation with the people who should be mattering most to me.

And so... for the next days I haven't been feeling okay...
...and during that moment I don't know why...

And then I watched a movie with a college friend. She said I am always busy at church. I spend the whole Sunday at church. I don't go out with them if I mess up with my 'churching' schedule and etc... etc.

And then she asked me, " Why do you tire yourself over those things yet I gain nothing?"
I said, "You'll never understand. Come with me at church soyou'll know."

But deep inside, a seed of 'questioning' was planted.

The next Monday at Bible School, I was asked to give a testimony. It was my first time. For some reason, I never hesitated though I didn't know what to say. It was a slow, sad afternoon. And there, I went to the pulpit and blab about the things I didn't even know what I said. I was kind a nervous and out of myself. In the end, what a useless speech, I haven't given glory to God... oh well... at that moment I have realized there's something wrong within me...

The next days were even worse, I was so down... I haven't even reading the Bible nor was I praying to God. I stopped communicating... I stopped reading, stopped praying... nothing. I'm not feeling well at work, at home, anywhere. Even the people that I talk to noticed my negativity. I'm having heart pains against God. It was a terrible situation (I noticed) but I'm just to stubborn. Maybe I am having this sort of resentments, disobedience and pride against God. I've been faithful and yet none of the things that I've been praying for is answered.

I attended the prayer meeting. I promised to myself that no matter how I feel bad I'd still attend church. At prayer meeting, I was just sitting quietly. I am there physically, but my mind and heart is somewhere sobbing. Pretending to pray, pretending to worship, pretending to listen.

And then out of the blue, Bible students were called to lead the prayer on stage. Oh mhen! Aside from that the church now knows I am a Bible student, I am about to talk to God on front when I haven't been talking to Him for days. Just great!

I don't know if I should laugh or what, I don't even know what to pray about the LBC Banquet. Another first time... yet, I just thought maybe God misses me and I've been missing a lot! What a lost sheep was I!

The next few weeks came, and it seems the problems never stop coming. I have a 'salary' problem at work. For almost two months I haven't been getting any income. P30,000, I might get it next year, hopefully. I'm tired of working there.

Then last Sunday, somebody stole my budgeted money. Great! The day before I kept holding myself back from buying things because I'm saving money to buy a violin. And then the next day, some naughty hands would spend it for me. It's a sad thing that it happened inside the church. Oh mhen!

I went home as soon as the church ended, bought half a gallon of my favorite ice cream in the hopes that I'd be giving my family a surprise treat - - - and guess who was surprised? ME! Yeah, what a life!

My mother - have another guy in the house - The most excrutiating thing for me. Whooo!!!! Heck!!! I've been planning how to get my family back together, and yet the evil forces had fired another missile!!! Whooo!!!

The next days? It was like hell. And then one morning, I just can't help it anymore. I don't know what to think, or what to do. So I texted my Pastor that I need an advice. My nerves were shattering in anger, but I still remained calm. I don't want to speak words against my mother. It's better to hold my tongue than to blurt out painful and sinful words.And because Pastor Mhan was on a field trip, I had to wait for another day - before Prayer Meeting.

And so the scheduled meeting finally came, and I told Pastor Mhan what's my problem.

So he gave me a simple advice of just telling my mother what I feel.

OK. Sounds simple.

But it wasn't.

I knew that night that if I go home I will definitely see the guy. And it's another "HELLO VOLCANO LAND! Another eruption I see."

But it's been proven; I never let anger control me. On the other hand, too much self-control is bad too... I guess.

I'm sober... in a wrong way perhaps. I don't know when to speak up and when to keep it to myself.Oh well.

I went home somewhat recharged!

And then...

Oh no! Another missile was launched!
Whooo!

My lesbian auntie is having a drinking session with another lesbian and their girlfriends. Whooo!!! Volcanic eruptions! Warning!

Just great.... temper control... I'm running out of energy.

(By the way, I gave up. I said sorry to God for neglecting again my daily devotions because of some stupid 'feelings that He seemed so far away.' It was a futile fight, I knew sooner or later I'd be doing what He really wants me to do.)

The next day again, I went to work and tried to work. But nothing, I just when home early instead, neglecting my job and will just wait to be fired. I'm tired of working there anyways, because I feel it's a worthless job.

When I got home? Right! Another volcanic-erruption trigger! Whooo!!!!
My mother isn't home, but the guy is there. Whoo!!! I texted my mom and told her that what she's doing is so wrong. of course, i've come to expect that she'll speak back defending herself. But still, I made it a point that what she's doing is wrong and I am sad for her.

The next days you ask? It was quiet.

Somehow I am at peace because in a way I have told her what's I've been keeping for ten years.

Now I am waiting, what's the result of this little confrontation...

I'm sad, I'm happy... but I am happy because I know I'm in God's will.

And I know someday, my prayers will be answered. Oh wait! I think it is already answered - - - getting my family back - - - because of these unfortunate events - I have now took my first step in this battle - - - I guess I should just wait and see what will happen in this slow and confusing process of reconciliation.

A reconciliation with my family... so I could go back to the altar and serve Him more whole-heartedly...

Haru!

178: The Calling???

I was told that God allows things to happen, it may not be His will... He just allows Satan to confuse our mind and get us somehow blind towards the will of God.

And with this thought in my mind, I always tend to relate this to the guy I liked lately. I thought he was for me…. Bu that’s not all to it, I am somehow bothered… something is pinching my heart that tells me to take the board exam. Frantically… I want to take it, but circumstances seem to be blocking my way. If I miss this October exam, I have another year to wait but at least I have time to prepare.

And also my recently ended job. I feel like I never really worked for three months, though it consumed much of my time and had made me tired everyday. I felt that the three-months job caused much distraction to my goal. So here I am, I feel like I'm back to square two at least--- in finding a clear direction for my life.

Last Sunday, Pastor M.R. talked to me regarding my “application” as a Sunday School teacher for the Kid’s Department. I never get to say anything that, “would approve him”, I don’t know, or impress on him that I am very much willing. I just don’t know how to put into words how my heart ached when I thought I was compelled to choose between the music ministry and the kid’s department. I never get to say anything to him, except my willingness to be trained as a Sunday School Teacher, and my willingness to follow the church system that I have to finish certain sets of lessons. I remember, technically, I am not an FBC member. In my mind I was just smiling on that fact. I know also that Pastor M.R. was not that shallow to make my membership a big deal in my willingness to serve God. I’m glad he made it a point that he is grateful for my willingness to help in God’s work here on earth. In my heart, I thought, isn’t it our duty to be God’s agents? Pastor Mhan knows that.

Next Sunday, I will be presented to the Pastoral Staff. Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, or what decision will they come up to. Whether they want me to finish the lessons or not, it doesn’t matter, I know where I want to be placed so far. Though I don’t know the reasons, I am willing to find out why God is giving me the heart for the Kid’s ministry.

I don't know where God will place me, what matters is that I know that I am called. I'll just wait and be aware how God would lay those paths before me.

Someday, I'll know my exact calling.

177: Instant Soldier

Instant Soldier: (071107)

Last Monday, I watched the movie Transformers at Gateway with ADS after having the FBC tarpaulin printed out. It was really a cool movie worth watching in a cinema. But despite the cool story, animation and total rendition of the movie, one dialogue line struck me.

“YOU’RE AN INSTANT SOLDIER!”

Said one of the Autobots to Sam, the cute guy with low self-asteem just like me.

I just remembered I’m one certified soldier who had been battling the struggles in life and as a Christian.

I’m a Christian - - - I shouldn’t be surprised by these battles I’ve been having lately.

Starting from this heart pain, that’s been ripping my heart. I’m sure my ‘imaginary pren’ had been suffering the same. I’ve been having heart attacks, though I’ve been hiding and denying it to myself. I don’t know why I have been hurt this bad by someone whom I never had. It’s hard to let go of something you never even called yours.

So, I had drowned myself with too much work, just like what I did when my ex-Bf and I broke up. Oh yes, I do cry this out to God, but still, I’ve been really doing it my own way again. I guess I have never learned that much. I thought I could forget this pain in my old-fashioned way of “get-busy” mode.

Okay, I know that plan is flunking and I’m only abusing myself over some stuffs that I know won’t last. So there, I’m back to really praying and asking God to take this heart pain. Period. That’s it! I still wait for God’s plan for me.

Aside from these so-called heart attacks, I’ve been crying a lot about my problem over this “no legal name” issue which been crippling me from forwarding into any career path I wish to seriously take. Geez! I’m turning 24 years old this year and I haven’t been going anywhere at all. I envy my colleagues who will be taking the board exam this year. While here I am, still can’t move though I’m so dead serious in wanting to take the board exam. I mean, I don’t intend to be an Interior Designer as a profession, but at least I can say to myself that the fruit of my four-year study would not be in vain – technically that is. Arrhggh!


And then - - - it’s my family. I miss them.


Now about the Sacred Agent Site, (where Watcher left me), I’ll finish my mission there. I will. I will. I WILL!

So there, those are the grunts of Sacred Agent Art. Until that tagline came into my life.

“YOU’RE AN INSTANT SOLDIER!”

Have you forgotten it Art? A tap in the back from that movie, another moment to realize things.

I wonder, how many times will God have to send me a loadful of reminders that I should focus on Him. It’s hard being a Christian…

Sacred Agent Art is assigned here
The Battleground I am assigned to fight
And I will never leave my stand
Until I finish my duty
Until the battle is won

175: I Feel Loved

When I read something about God, I feel blessed and encouraged - to do His will and to get closer to Him.

It lightens my spirit, as if I am re-energized and ready to face another battle.

What is this enlightening and overpowering sensation?

I guess, everytime I read God's Word, I get reminded of His promises,
His being our Father...
and most of all... I FEEL LOVED.

174: Heart Attack

Oh gosh... I hate myself! Until now... I am such a lousy Chrsitian-slash-person with no capability of expressing my true feelings.



I am badly hurt over this emotion... I can't understand why

...

What can I do?
(to be continued)

173: Sacred Agents on its First Year

Sacred Agents on its first year!

Happy Birthday Sacred Agents!!!

Art is celebrating it alone! Watcher left me.

Anyways...

It's been a year...

I want to be a lot personal on this part. I won't discuss the Sacred Agent site.
I am totally emotional lately. And it has a great deal about my heart, and its fondness to my co-founder - Watcher.

Over a year of friendship, I have noticed that I have quite deep emotions towards him. Big deal or not, I try to treat him as civilized as possible. Heck, I really like the guy. So as I have noticed in the past days of his "coldness". Coldness in a sense that he is not the friend that he use to be. I don't know. Myabe in his part I wasn't a big person for him. In my part - - -he is.

I don't know why I have come to like the guy. Hmm... maybe because we had shared the same interests before. I like his sense of humor and sense of seriousness when called for.

To be of total honesty, when I first saw Watcher on Friendster as K., there goes that feeling that I knew the guy would have a big influence on me. Mind you, it's only a picture, a mere photograph. It always happen, some sort of so-called 'spark' when something or someone would influence an aspect of my life.

Anyways, despite the big burden I am carrying right now... and I see clearly that my heart is under attack. I always pray that this pain would not hinder me from my walk with God. I admit... it's really painful.. it tears my heart and as if a knife is being pushed slowly to the very core of my heart. But what can I do? I'm not really that good on expressing my feelings toward a guy...

Sacred Agents on its first year.... and my 'partner' had left me...
... I hate this feeling of being left out...
..but still, I want to continue this 'ministry' with him or without him....
when I am ready, when the wound is healed...
..in God's appointed time and according to His will.

172: My Battleground

My Battleground

I hear the drums banging

And it’s stinging my heart

My knees are shaking,

While my nerves seem to shatter apart

Sacred Agent Spy is appointed here

The battleground I am assigned to fight

How in this arena will I survive

If I haven’t placed God in my life?

With my hand in my heart

I give my sober oath

To carry out my mission

As commanded in the Holy Word

I pray that the Boss Almighty

Grant me the strength I need

Sanctify my thoughts, purify my heart

I can only do best with His might

I know it would be inevitable

The foe’s blow would bruise me in a way

But I deem that the Holy Chief

Will heal the wound I get from them

I claim the same valor of a knight

When the King called them out to fight

Equipped and fully geared up

Victory is declared even before it starts

I hear the drums banging

Though I don’t see the battalion coming

I can sense that more is to come

The battle has just begun

Sacred Agent Spy is appointed here

And I will never leave my stand

Until I finish my duty,

Until the battle is won

And I pray that my soul will always be

Prepared for every battle cry

Until one day the Captain will say,

“Mission accomplished, Sacred Agent Spy”

Jennifer Mansay y AngelSPY
(on to/the next/sacred mission)
(wriiten/days/before/baptism)

173: Of Twenty-Three Sunsets

Last month, I’ve been writing a rough synopsis of my favorite book “The Little Prince.” On the part when the Pilot asked the Prince’s forty-four sunsets, I don’t know why I have interpreted it as the Prince’s (or author’s) 44 years of life. Whether that is the writer’s intention or not, the time spent here on earth was the message that crossed my mind on that little part of the book.

“Were you sad, then? . . on the day of twenty-three sunsets?” then the Prince made no reply.

Thus, I asked myself,
“Were you sad, then? . . on the day of twenty-three sunsets?” then Art made no reply.

“Were you sad, then . . . on a life time of twenty-three years?” then Art would want to say something…

My twenty-three sunsets…my twenty-three sunrises….
If I would figuratively describe a year of my life into a day, I haven’t reached my twenty-third sunset, not yet. (turning 24 na pla ako!!!)
An average person would usually contemplate during this time of the day, whether he is on a bus or leisurely walking down the street on the way home.
A housewife typically asks her kids how they spent their day at school.
More often than not, it’s the time when one unconsciously, simply thinks about his day.
It’s May, the seventh month of my twenty-third year, seven months closer to my sunset.
In a day, it’s 1:00 PM in the morning. Not much to look at, but seven hours unplanned in a day is still wasted time. Seven months in a year would equate the same.

(((hahahah! to ne continued ulit...grabe...im busy, really busy!)

172: The Little Prince (Art's Interpretation)

The Little Prince (12.24.06)
I came across this book two years ago, while getting well after my accident in 2004. I’ll write here a synopsis of the book and the parts which made me like this book.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery was the first book that I really enjoyed reading and get to finish from the first page to the last. And I once believed that the book is based on a true story, maybe because my mind is still fresh because of the accident. I had believed everything as if it is real. I think that this book deserve a page in my blog.

Overview:
A pilot crash-landed at the Sahara dessert. There, he met the strange little prince who talked about his little planet where he came from. The Little Prince asked the Pilot to draw him a sheep, that’s their first acquaintance. Think about it! In the middle of the dessert a little boy suddenly emerged. The story of the prince evolved around, and if you will read between the lines, the book is full packed with wisdom.
Here are the concepts that I really get to like, in point of fact, I really like the whole book itself! I’m going to interpret it the way I understood it.
The Little Prince as told by Art (hehehe)
The sheep inside the box.
The Little Prince asked the Pilot to draw him a sheep that he could take back to his small planet. The Pilot attempted to draw three sheep that was rejected by the Prince. Because of disappointment and worry about his plane’s engine, he drew a box and told the prince that the sheep is inside. The Prince liked the box!
In this, I think what matter is how you look the inside of the skin. I mean, outward appearance is nice, but what matters is what the inside is. A common idiom, very common, that sometimes it is overlooked.
Asteroid B-612.
The Pilot supposed that the Prince came from Asteroid b-612 which was discovered by a Turkish astronomer in 1909. The Turkish astronomer presented it to the International Astronomical Congress. Nobody believed him about the discovery of a new planet because he was wearing Turkish attire. Fortunately, he was able to represent it in the year 1920 when a Turkish dictator ordered his subjects that everyone should wear European attire. The astronomer, now wearing the European attire, presented his discovery. This time, every believed him.
See the point? Most people look at your status, race and superficial things; they judge you for what you wear and what you look like.
Grown-ups love figures.
As told by the book, most people would base your worth on figures. An example given was if someone would tell you that you saw a house with rosy bricks, geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof, they will never get the point that you are talking about a really beautiful house. But if you told them that the house costs a big sum of money, they’d instantly conclude it as a beautiful one.
The Baobabs.
“Before they grow so big, the baobabs start out by being little.”
This is what the little Prince told about the little bushes that grow in his planet. Baobabs are huge trees that when never tended and never plucked out while still young or little, it’s impossible to be destroyed or worse, the tree would destroy the planet itself.
Just like, I think, bad attitudes. Pluck it out once you noticed they are growing in you before it grows and destroys you. Same way in disciplining kids, discipline them while you can, as early as possible, it is hard to get rid of bad attitudes when tended too late.
“Seeds sleep deep in the heart of the earth’s darkness… but when it is a bad plant, one must destroy it as soon as possible, the very first instant that one recognizes it.”
“Children!...Watch out for the baobabs!”
As the pilot have said, the danger of the ‘baobabs’ is so little understood.
The Sunset.
“Were you sad, then? . . on the day of the forty-four sunsets?” the little prince made no reply.
“Were you sad, then? . . on the day of twenty-three sunsets?” then Art made no reply.
Matter of Consequences.
The Prince asked the Pilot what are the use of the thorns grown by the flowers. The pilot, upset in his plane engine, gave a thoughtless answer that the thorns are of no use. The Prince pondered for a while, and he said he don’t believe the Pilot’s answer that the flowers grow thorns for nothing. The Pilot said that he only said that because he was busy with the matters of consequences.
It is good to look at the result of our actions, but sometimes, we focused wrongly. We usually do things without really thinking, just for the sake of doing it.
Instead of looking at what’s important, they rather focus on the consequences of what if’s and why not’s, and try to walk in the dark. I believe these should not be the questions one must ask in decision making; the question should be “what’s true and important?”
The Rose.
On the little Prince’s planet, grew a unique flower which he had never seen before---it’s a rose. Amazed by the flower’s beauty, he took care of her. But later, the Prince noticed of the Rose’s vanity. So no matter how the Prince loved the Rose, her self importance and pride hurt the Prince. Vanity is difficult to deal with. Then the Prince grew tired of the egotism in the word of the Rose. So on the last day on his planet, he did his usual chores and said good bye to the Rose which he loved. The Prince was hurt. That was the Prince’s story why he left his planet.
But then I liked these words…
“I ought to have judged by deeds and not by the words. (despite of her words) She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. . . . .But I was too young to know how to love her…”
The Prince started his journey from planets to planets…
Asteroid 325: The King
The first planet was inhabited by a King. The king saw the Prince and was delighted in the presence of a ‘subject’, finally. He gave orders and permissions for the Prince to come near, to sit and even yawn. Astonished by the ‘power’ the King could demonstrate and boast about, the Prince asked the King to show him the sunset. The King said he would order for it, until the conditions are favorable…that is, when the right time comes...the minutes before evening.
“One must require from each one the duty which one can perform. Accepted authority rests first of all on reason.”
Kings have authority, but their orders must be based on reasons and of good grounds, or else, no subject would obey him. If LEADERS are to be obeyed, they should be able to give reasonable orders.
Asteroid 326: The Conceited Man
In this planet, the Prince met a conceited man with his hat. The man said that the hat is for his admirers. The Prince was told to clap his hands, and instantly, the conceited man raised his hat and gave his salute. This continued for five minutes, the clapping and the saluting. The prince asked the man how to make the hat come down, but the man never heard him, he just sees the Prince as one of his admirers.
Conceited people never value anyone but themselves. They think that everything about them is beautiful, vanity just like the Rose’s. They never hear anything but praises; and though there is nothing admirable about them, they just uplift themselves just the same.
Asteroid 327: The Tippler
Here’s the story, quite summarized. Tippler = T. Prince = P.
P: What are you doing?
T: I am drinking. (A liquior)
P: Why are you drinking?
T: So that I may forget.
P: Forget what?
T: Forget that I am ashamed.
P: Ashamed of what?
T: Ashamed of Drinking!
And then the Prince went away…
Tsk, tsk, tsk… most people knows the bondage they are in, and yet they don’t do something to get out of it. People who don’t help themselves bail out of their trouble are not worthy of helping them out. Leave them, just like what the little Prince did. You cannot help people who won’t even help themselves.
Asteroid 328: The Businessman
The Businesman was busy in his counting---counting of the stars which he “owns”. The Prince smirks on the idea of owning the stars for what use are those stars for him? All the businessman could do in his stars are count them, record on a paper, own it, put it a drawer and lock it. The Prince owns little volcanoes which serve as a stove for him, and a flower which he could talk to. But the stars are of no importance for him. In this way, the Prince found the Businessman strange also.
On our investments, are we investing on the things that would last? I, for once is stroked by this one. I work hard, to earn, but am I really earning? Set your treasures above, not on earth; Investments that you could take with you on the life after death. The question again is, is it a matter of importance or just a matter of consequence?
Asteroid 329: The Lamplighter
“There is nothing to understand. Orders are orders.”
This is the small planet of the Lamplighter who is very much dedicated to his job. He just turns on and turns off the lamp when needed everyday. This time, his planet has been revolving faster than usual, making the day and night last for a minute. So he turns on and off the lamp every now and then, because the order hasn’t changed.
CHANGE. Everybody must adopt with change, positively, without compromising the Truth. And also, every Leader, or boss must see to it that better good of his workers are always considered. In this case, the Lamplighter has been doing his job well, but, the circumstances changed, so there’s a need for change in orders as well.
The Prince liked the Lamplighter, because unlike the King, the Businessman, the Conceited Man and the Tippler, the Lamplighter is thinking of something else besides himself.
Asteroid 330: The Geographer

(to be continued...)

Adfafd
Adfafa
Sfs
Sdf
Sf
Sf
Sf
Sdf
Sdf
Sd
Fsd
Fs
Dfsd
F
Sg
Fg
Sfh
sf

171: Dream Jobs

One week na lang ako mag-stay sa Kolin. Resign na kasi ako. Matatapos na ang mga araw ko bilang isang Graphic Artist at Designer for Visual Merchandising. Tinatanong ng karamihan kung ano ang kapalit na trabaho na gusto ko. Sabi ko, wala pa at hindi rin naman ako naghahanap dahil ang mga gusto kong trabaho ay hindi matatagpuan sa classified ads.

Uunahin ko na ang apat na dream jobs na ginawan ko ng photo editings dati:

SUNDALO:

Oo, may pagka warfreak po ako. Gusto ko ang tunog ng bakbakan, kapow, ratatatatat an bagoom! Gusto ko rin po ang training dahil siguradong mawawala ang lahat ng cholesterol at bad elements sa katawan ko. Gusto ko din yun tipong stealth ang labanan. Astig din ang uniform nila, lalo na kung member ka ng top ranking elite forces.

Sa ngayon, Malabo na maging sundalo ako. Pero, di bale, matagal nanaman akong Sundalo ni God. Keep on the Firing Line! Mas challenging ata kalabanin ang evil forces, kasi kapag nakipag gerahan ka ng ganun, hindi namamatay ang kalaban mo.

Kung tutuusin eh nabibigyan pa sila ng real life kapag na convert sila. Astig dba maging Warrior of God? At sa bawat laban na napagtatagumpayan, para kang Super Sayan na nadadagdagan ang level of Power. Taob sila Son Goku at Majin Bu dito. Habang lumalaban lalong lumalakas. Ang astig pa dito ay kumakalaban ka sa mga invisible forces, at ang pinaka astig sa lahat eh napakalakas ng Back up mo, walang katalo-talo. Kaya nga Put on the Armor of God.

MARINO:

Gusto ko ang mundo ng karagatan dito sa planet Earth. Masarap nga siguro maging kapitan ng Barko or maging explorer underwater. Siguro kasi ang dagat ang hindi pa mashado na-e-explore ng tao, kaya hindi pa mashado marumi. (hehe) Gusto ko makakita ng mga dolphins, balyena, giant squids at si Nemo. Gusto ko rin ituloy yun collection ko ng sea shells at starfish. Para kasing may sariling mundo ang underwater world.

Bukod pa dun, gusto ko kasi makasama sa expedition dito sa planet earth. Gusto ko malaman ang wonders ng creation, malaman ang buhay buhay ng lahat ng living creature. Okay din naman maging Piloto, kaso napakabilis ng byahe, hindi na ako magkakaroon ng time to observe. I want to know the truth about the earth and why God did create it. Gusto ko rin ma-experience.

Exciting din kasi maglakbay sa dagat, minsan mainit, minsan mabagyo. Masaya yun, para di naman mashadong boring ang buhay.

Masaya rin siguro banggitin ang “Aye! Aye! Captain!”

Masaya naman talaga ang expedition ng buhay ko. Hindi boring, ang dami ngang challenges. Buti na lng may training ako bilang Warrior of God.

Kaya “aye! Aye! CAPTAIN!”

ASTRAUNAUT:

Hindi po dahil “I NEED SPACE.” Na kadalasan banggitin ng mga mag BF-GF pag gusto nila mag cool-off. Astig ata maging astraunaut, OUTER SPACE! Baka ma-meet ko pa dun ang Pulis-Pangkalawakan na si Papa Shaider. Grabe, imagine the thrill of traveling to the inknown with amazing sights of the stars and the MOON. Gusto ko talaga ang moon.

Kung exciting ang expedition sa Earth, eh lalo na siguro ang expedition sa Outer Space. Astranaut na rin naman ako eh, biruin mo I’m traveling towards the third Heaven, or in common term, HEAVEN. Eenjoyin ko na lang ang byahe. Mag oobserve. Hindi ko alam ang haharapin ko, pero okay lang yun, anjan naman si Boss Almighty.

FIREMAN:

Exciting maging bombero! Eto ang profession na kapag sumakay ka sa sasakyan eh nakasabit ka! Thrilling ang byahe, liban na lang kung heavy traffic, dba? Tapos tutulong ka patayin yun fire na lumalamon sa bahay, at, kapag may mahalagang tao na na stuck sa loob, susugurin mo yun para iligtas sya. Unsung hero!

Syempre, bilang Warrior of God, eh tumutulong tayo ma-extinguish ang fire dito sa earth. Mga FireMan tayo. Mga unsung hero. As firman of God tayo un mga agents para i-extinguish ang fire sa hearts ng mga tao, at mahanap ang importanteng nilalaman sa bawat puso.

(Wow. Di ko maintindihan… bakit ganito ako magsalita lately.)

Yan po ang top jobs na gusto ko.

Siyempre di mawawala ang mga sumusunod:

KARPENTERO: Gusto ko kasi ng magandang bahay, at kung pwede ako sana ang magco-construct. I also want a home na may big heart kay God.

NINJA: Gusto ko kasi tumalon talon from one bubong to another.

PIRATA: Mahilig kasi ako sa mapa at compass

LEGOLAS: May gusto kasi ako panain

HARRY POTTER: Gusto ko magkaroon ng Kwago at Nimbus 2000

PARTNER NI SHAIDER: Para superhero family kami

NAWAWALANG UNICA IHA NI BILL GATES: No need to ask why

SAKURAGI: Love ko talaga ang sport na basketball

IPPO: Ay ayoko maging sya, isa pala sya sa mga Boy Friend ko.

SAMURAI WARRIOR: Gusto ko ang hitten mitsurugi ni Kenshin

DETECTIVE: Good exercise for the brain. Disipulo kasi ako ni Sherlock Holmes at ni Eugene Kiniban: ang Detective ng Spiritual na Mundo. Magiging Class S na Halimaw ako. Bwahahahahar!

-------

Sayang nga lang wala yang mga trabahong yan sa Classified Ads. Edi sana todo apply na ako.

Excited na ako matapos sa Kolin. Pero sa totoo lang ma-mimiss ko ang Kolin. Excited na ako mamulubi, at mabuhay ng malayo sa career, a step closer sa ministry.

Para sa mga nagulat sa pinagsusulat ko, di nakaintindi o na-weirduhan. I understand. Nasa ibang mundo kasi ako ngayon, sama kayo minsan. Di kayo magsisisi.

-----

ART: Seryosong Hindi

Sige na titigilan ko na ito: Kailangan ko lang i-release ang the Force Within

170: Random Thoughts About Extra Sensory Perception

Just a series of thoughts regarding ESP from unknown people at Christianster.


Inquiry 1: View Reagarding ESP

Extra Sensory Perception'bcuz sometimes, i can sense things... not just
small things...visions...ESP in its wholeness.. thanks!
Sep 7, 2006 7:05 PM PST

junarie_eny
wow,i think you have the gift of prophecy.......you can use it alot for Gods glory!i' ll pray for you that will help you enhance your gift....you should be greatfull sis....i know God have alot of great things waiting for you.....God bless....

mygzar
I think that ESP is a gift from God. It's the use that can either be for God or
for the adversary.Deepen your relationship with the Lord and have wisdom on how
to use your gifts for God's glory.(\O/) Praise and thank the Lord at all times
in words and much more in actions.

elishahorao
God is the giver of good true gifts. We are responsible for our use of the
gifts. Will we use them in humility to give God the credit due?

What is your perceptive accuracy rate? If you are right everytime then your gift is a good one from God and you must pray for wisdom to use it right and for humility to
not be made proud and corrupted by it.

If your perceptions are sometimes wrong you are faced with two possibilities;

1; You have a gift from God but also get it confused with your imagination (in which case you must learn the difference before stepping out)

2; A demonic force has found a way to influence your thoughts and it is right sometimes because demons have access to information that we cannot as humans aquire, but it is not right ALL the time because it is not God

Do pray about this, and may God give you the wisdom and discernement to
find out the truth about your esp experience and conduct yourself accordingly.

I suppose I should also mention that non christians have had visions/dreams from
God.

A very good example of this would be the Babylonian king Nebachadneza in
the book of Daniel. In his instance he could not recall the dream until after
Daniel told him. At this point he recognised that Daniel was a servant of the
true and only God. In the fullness of time he was converted by Daniel's good
witness.

ESP as you probably know stands for Extra Sensory Perception. I know of
no scripture that confirms this as a demonic event in it's own right, what
confirms it as demonic is when it leads away from Jesus/God or when it is
inaccurate.

If the perceptions are correct 99 times out of a hundred there is a
problem because God is NEVER wrong. Do not be frightened, be careful.

Bad decisions are made when fear is the driving force

caleb_march
I know a person who has this kind of senses - you know what, he always see
things that a normal human cannot see - like demons and other spirit being.

He never turn off the light when he is about to sleep.

This senses can be acquire
and can be transmitted to your sibling. Their is a great danger in listening to
a teacher of the paranormal science that teaches how to open your third
eye.Their is always a danger in this, the devil works on this, your memory and
brain will be greatly affected, in the process you will developed the sickness
of anxiety, depression and even schizophrenia.My suggestion is to tell this to
your local pastor that you want to be delivered from this kind of phenomenom.

revmelvinpascual
ESP is not a gift from God. Science and paranormals called this talents, and
gifts but in reality it is demonic influence in disguise.

Where and when does a person get this?

first, from your family or ancestor maybe ...it was passed in to you...naturally. (old sinful nature was passed to us).

second, when we indulged or some sort of "experiment" like consulting a medium, ouija board, palm reader, and other form of divination.

How to get rid of this?

We need to renounce it - it is sin and it is of the devil.We need to repent of our sins and the sins of our parents.

We need the claim the blood of Christ - to cover us by faith.

Inquiry 2: SECOND POSTING REGARDING ESP

I already posted once regarding ESP.
Thanks for those who gave their thoughts about it.

My accuracy? I really cannot tell.

Here are some occurences:
1) Dreaming of people.
WHO, sooner or later, I am gonna find out they are Dead.. once, I dreamed about my teacher in a coffin. And then, he committed suicide.A kid, then died of dengue....and others,like last time, Coincidence? i don't think so.
When I dream about them, it really bears in my mind compared to other dreams that are just 'subconcious'
one story:I was dreaming about my grandma. In real life, she's old, weak & suffering alzheimers...In my dream, she was really laughing and telling me she's very happy, while I was helping her listing the gradesheet of her students. I was really confused in my dream, bcuz I know she's ill.When I was suddenly awaken by a phone call, from my mom, telling my grandma just died.

My dreams has to do with Death, but still, accurate.
Not just death, light things as well.
Like I dream about something, and it would happen on that day. Sometimes, the dreams seem so real.I wake up having a head ache.
Also to my X-bf, before I said yes to him as his GF, i had three dreams w/c were not nice. And it all happened. Sometimes, i wish I had listened to those dreams so I could have prevented to have a broken heart.
And another one about my family...many occurences actually.

The dreams are so general but you know the meaning, get it? hard to explain.

2) Mind Reading (not-exactly, i don't know how to call it)
Sometimes, i just know it. & then the person i'm talking to will be just surprised, as surprised as i am.
And then, they would ask...How did i know... I'll just say, I don't know, it just came out of my mouth.This rarely happens anyway.

3) About those "spirits"I really don't see them...
I just "feel them"one story:
i was in my friend's house doing an overnight project.
My friend took a short sleep, so I was alone in front of the PC.
On my left side is the garage, and then I "feel" a lady is staring at me by the window. (I never looked on my left physically, I'm just sensing it). And it was really a scary stare.And then I felt a touch on my shoulder....instead of sleeping, i still continued on my project. I kept saying on my mind, it's all in the mind...and was praying to put my fear away.
The next morning,
i told my friend the weird thing that had happened.
Then she told me, rumors has it that there is a 'white lady' and her brother feels it too.

When I was young, they told me I see something that the elders don't see. And they just don't believe me at all, i was a kid back then.

3) A strong feeling or attachment onto something that my mind cannot conceive why...
then sooner or later, that "thing" will create a big impact in my life.

There goes my description of my ESP experiences. Some are just like "plain intuition".. but I can't really put into words how deep it is in real life, how it bothers me so much. How it scares me at times, and how it gives me head aches.
And those ESP occurences, it just comes... i cannot control it, like, hey! I'm gonna read your mind. No!

It did not do any harm though. It was disappointing, bcuz it's like you have some sort of perception of things to happen, but you can't grasp it in your hands.

Actually, I don't mind this issue this much, kc "I'm use to it"but hey!

I wonder what other people think of it...but it honestly bothers me at times, like I'm sort of a freak.
I'm not a witch, am I? (hahaha, kidding!)

I believe in Jesus Christ!
Sep 8, 2006 10:35 PM PST

reflector
Sorry Sis, I should give my comment in your first posting.... (it's urgent)Anyway, late is better than nothing...

It's a prophetic gift from God Sis, don't be disappointed.... many people want it hough.... but u get it automatically.... that was a miracle...Don't cast it away... It's very precious..

Sis, use it wisely.... the gift of prophecy needs to be handled with discrement and wisdom as well.I really2 recommend u to read some books about prophecy.One of really useful book for that is: "The gift of prophecy" by Jack Deere.(hopefully, you can find it in our bookshop).Please add a a connection with me...I got the similar experience with you before (God gave me prophetic gift also). Maybe I can tell u of some useful experiences.Here is a quote, to tell you, how significant the prophetic gift can be used in Church:

1Co 14:24 But if all prophesy, and some unbeliever or one not instructed comes, he is convicted by all, he is judged by all.

1Co 14:25 And so the secrets of his heart become revealed. And so, falling down on his face, he will worship God and report that God is truly among you.

God bless

revmelvinpascual
I have a church mate and she is a Bible woman - someone graduated from Bible
college and she is a church worker and school teacher.She told me that she had a third eye...she could see things that others could not see. She told me one time when she visited a church members house, she saw a scary figure in the house.

She always see things....scary. She knows it is demonic and she rebukes it.

Until she was used to it. I asked her last time, she still see things.Your experiences are dreams that comes true, hers, she saw things.

You said, you believe in Jesus Christ, even the devil and the demons believes in God and they tremble.

There are many kinds of faith....intellectual faith, saving faith and transfromational faith. Biblical faith will give you victory over the demons and their works.Did you ever have a saving faith in your life? If not yet, I wonder what you really into your dreams.


artofworship
If you believe in Jesus, do you also believe that He can put these away from
you., I mean free you from those things.I heard people testify to me more
odd and horrible things than your situation. at first, they thought it was
just natural until they were in bondage., jesus Christ came to free us from
anxieties that this world brings. pray that you will be freed from it. talk
to a church worker about it. talk to your Priest or Pastor.

anjela_martz
dreams are thoughts that are suspensed in our subconscious minds.... im not
sure kung bakit accurate maxado yan,,,baka coincidence lang... nwei bro,,juz
pray ok??

elishahorao
I would say you should pray for discernement on each occasion these feelings come. I do not think they are that unusual, but you should seek God for understanding about. If they are not reliable because you do not know what will happen until after it happens, then they are of little use and become an interesting curiosity. If this is a gift from God, He will help you to use it.There is no doubt that there are more imensions of reality than ordinary humans can percieve, and I think you are just more sensitive. This does not matter providing you recognise God as King over every reality and commit yourself to Him.If God is for you, who can succeed against you? You need not fear if you are faithful

jondgryt
I believe God give u such gift for GOOD, and to spread His will....Do it for God's glory! Godbless

caleb_march
Here is the only advice I can make.Pray and then Consult several pastor about it, see their varying view.Its difficult to speculate what it is.

bandaxx2007
did not even satan marvelously transform himself into an angel of light?2Cor.11:14



i'm
gonna post this again. i wanna get answers again. thanks... regarding
esp

elfruler
talk to a psychologist my dear....

daniellelove
Hi Sis! Be Calm! Don't Panic! I just want you to know that you are not alone. I
have the same gift that you also have. May i ask you, are you already a Christian? Pls don't be shy, pls connect with me & let's chat about it. ok? Don't worry, i nderstand what your going through! God bless!

psalm19v14
I have a Christian friend who has a similar gift. He often has dreams and premonitions, which have come to pass.He told me of an incident where he
walked into a shop described the item to an assistant who said they didn't have one, he then pointed to a cupboard and said it was in there, and it was.He had a dream
of someone giving him $10000 and a person whom he met for the first time some
weeks latter.An incident where he was talking to a person and said he knew they
where about to go through a severe illness and they did.So there are others like
you, it is a gift. he need to understand how to use it and use it wisely, pray
about it, seek Gods guidance, if you would like to talk with my friend I could
arrange it.

lucy123
You need to speak to your priest or minister. I simply do not know.

cmie_lam
1. In the Old Testament, God give signs to warn his people Israel through prophets, priest or either kings. When Christ was born God used dream to warn Joseph out of Bethlehem a way to Egypt. There are times in our life that God warn us through dreams or vision to show the duty and according to its need. Perhaps the Lord wants you to pray for the person and warn them about that dreams.

2.But some parapsychologists or some psychologist have a different explanation of dreams, but it is exactly from our subconscious. And according to them a personal lifestyle is also reflected in our dreams, so check it out.

3. If you read your Bible and its substance, The Word of God discusses the different
types of gifts. According to apostle Paul in the book of Romans 12:6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.” About Mind reading That is knowledge, About the spirit rebuke them.

astrophil
.... open it as well to your pastor, I believe, they (Pastors) have the gift of dicserning of spirit or devine revelation from GOd.... Your Pastor can give you insights or advises what to do with it....God Bless you....

emman_23
this is a sensitive issue and matter to deal with... first, you need to be biblical to give accurate answers to YOUR queries... and am not really good with the Bible. but i can pray for you.i believe you and the things you encounters... things like that happen. YOU ARE SPECIAL and you should thank the LORD for that ability- but YOU NEED TO PRAY A LOT.. and be very careful and extra sensitive... for sure THERE IS A REASON WHY YOU HAVE THAT ABILITY... it's not witchcraft or something, IT'S A GIFT! cherish it and pray hard about it! talk to GOD and ask HIM to REVEAL HIS PLANS FOR YOU! HE alone can clear your queries and doubts like
nobody else can. GOD IS WORKING IN WAYS WE CANNOT SEE.. NEVER BE AFRAID... JUST WALK WITH FAITH IN YOUR HEART.TRUST GOD... HE IS MORE THAN WONDERFUL!God BLess you sis! YOU are not
a witch!... YOU ARE SPECIAL and GIFTED!

jaicool
The best thing you can do is to ask God whether the dreams are coming from Him
or not. The demons also can show you dreams and disturub youir mind. So be
careful. Everyday before you go to sleep always pray to God and commit you
spirit into Him. God Bless You

Jo

168: Baptist Chronicles EB

As a new member of the Baptist Chronicles Texter's Clan,
I tried my best to attend the Eye Ball at Mega Mall.

I thought I'd be late for an hour, but heck, I was the first one to arrive!

Then Knight and Paolo came. Geez! The three of us from the same church. Haller! We are suppose to be meeting other Baptists from other churches.

While we wait for the others, we first went to Toy Kingdom. Cool! Cool! Cool! It's been a long time since I went there. Well not really, everytime I go to Mega Mall, I always drop by at Toy Kingdom. The three of us walked for a while.

Then finally, two more clanmates came. Ate Laarni and Kirk. Now there's the five of us.

Yey! Finally! Atleast it is not in vain... (and.. chiki chiki chiki!)

Our first stop is at the FoodCourt, where we ordered and ate Pizza! Yum!!! (SSP SSP SSP)

And then, we intoduced each other to everbody. I forgot what we talked about, but mostly it is about AMANG Partylist. I don't know what came into Knight's mind that he made us pose as shown on the picture promoting Amang Party List. It was fun anyway.

And, ahm... we took a walk around Mega Mall. Visited the cinema, and then they are also able to see my exhibit at Mega Mall. (and.. chiki chiki chiki!)

And yeah, we played a game.

Later, we finally bid goodbye to Ate Laarni and Kirk, from I forgot what church.

Knight, Pao and I ate again at the Food Court. I was hungry that time because I haven't eaten lunch yet.

Then we had a mini-discussion regarding other Baptist Churches and their preferences. Preferences in music, on their church rules and the likes.

Knight said, each church has their own policy. As long as it does not contradict the Bible, they can have their own rules implemented.

Some churches find watching at a dark place like the Cinema, is a sin.
It's their preference.


There are three C'c in this policy making thingy: (whatever they call it)

1.) Command - the Bible had directly commanded rules. Such as attending
church.

2.) Conviction - The Bible may not have been directly commanding something, but a certain verse can be obeyed based on your conviction. One example is the verse that says, "Your body is the tenple of the Holy Spirit..." It doesn't directly says that any vices (such as drinking alcohols) are not allowed. But if the body is for the Holy Spirit, it should be taken care. So anything that would weaken the body is a NO.

3.) Choice - this is what we call the Preference of the church. If the Head
of the church gave out a certain policy (that does not contradic the Bible), it is okay. The church members also have their choice if they want to follow the given rules or not. Disobedience may also mean willing dismissal from one church.

These are the major things that I have learned.

Aside from the minor ones like, ladies should ALWAYS wear dresses. One, because it is very Baptist (hehehe), and then to avoid offending other Baptists. As noted earlier, each church has their own preferences.

I saw on this event, that not all churches have the same opinions. And we should be sensitive about this to avoid conflicts.

I am glad I belong to a group of Baptists in the 'mid-range'. Not too liberal, not too conservative.

As long as we don't oppose the Bible, it's okay.

And yeah, here's a picture of the five of us together.

(Black Polo Guy - White Shirt Dude: Knight, Paolo, Kirk, Laarni and JM)

GM.ni.Art.About.Baptist.Chronicles.EB

166: My Baptism Day

Finally! I am officially baptized!!!

The moment I have been waiting for, finally came.

Mark this date Art so you won't forget!

MARCH 17, 2007

Here are the pictures...

hmm!

Wait!!!

(ang tagal naman email ni Knight)

hmf!

eniweis...

mas masaya mgkwento pag may pichurs...

abangan na lng.

It's cool actually,

three months after I did my first official service

through the Kid's Musicalle

(December 17, 2007)

I got baptized.

Hahahah!

Cool!

Good thing I never gave up when two days

before my Baptism quite shocking events happened.

Oh Well!

Har! Har! Har!

Sacred Agent ART

Prepare for battle!

165: Days Before Baptism

It is true, that the Devil will make a way for you to withdraw your desire to obey the lord.

Days before baptism, I am having depression. And I almost cry every night, which honestly, I want to just shut my world and leave the Christian world for a while. This is such a heavy feeling.

Until now I feel this heaviness in heart. And situations at home just trigger my weakest points. Last night, I just have this really heavy feeling and I prayed that, please Lord, take this pain away.

Anyways… I promised that nothing is going to prevent or stop me from doing the will of God. It’s just sometimes, I feel so down. Hmm… I remember what Pastor Mhan told us (the baptism candidates). The Bible says, (I forgot the verse), that God is above our heart, so no matter what our heart tells us, just stay believing.

Here’s what Pastor Mhan taught us regarding Baptism.

First, he told us about Eternal Security, or that Salvation cannot be taken away from us. Once we received Jesus Christ as our Saviour, it will always be there, forever. Ate Fely, (my teacher in the Discipleship class), taught us from the Bible that the as a child of God, we can never be taken away from His hands.

BUT, sometimes as human, we FEEL that we are not SAVED.

And this is what pastor Mhan shared to us. (oh Gosh! I should learn to remember those Bible verses! At least, I was able to remember the outline.)

We sometimes feel that we are not saved due to the following reasons.
1.) Sin
(Remember that God has forgiven our past, present and future sin)
2.) Our heart sometimes tells us that we are not.
(Remember that God is above our hearts)

Second, Pastor Mahn taught us what Baptism is all about.

IN BAPTISM:

1.) RIGHT CANDIDATES – believer, the people who received Jesus Christ

Pastor Mhan sited a story (found in Acts I think). The story is about Philemon (? Im not sure), and a Eunoch. Philemon baptized ONLY the Eunoch after the gospel was shared to the Eunoch. They saw a body of water along the way, and that is where the Eunoch is baptized.

(Art alert! Though I am not sure, I think Pastor Garry dela Torre is the one who shared to me the Doctrine of Salvation, circa January 13, year I cannot remember.. yet. Cool huh… I just thought that, why in the world would I remember January 13 for no reason? Why that date rings important to my mind? And every time I remember this date, there’s a blur image of Pastor Garry. Why? Why? I cannot think of any important date aside from my birthdate. Anyway, next …)

2.) RIGHT MOTIVE - Love towards God

One of the last commandment of Jesus Christ before he ascended was to spread the Gospel and Baptizing them. It is found at the last chapter of Matthew.

Jesus also said, If ye love me keep my commanments. Jn 14:15

Direct to the point.
One must be baptized because not of any reason like the church requires it or the pastor asked someone to. It’s a personal decision.. And if you would do something for the Lord, it is because YOU LOVE THE LORD. In short, obey because of love.

3.) RIGHT METHOD - Immersion

Unlike the Catholic’s version of their so-called ‘baptism’ (if I remember it right it is called “Rhamtizo which means partially wet), Biblical Baptism means immersion. It came from the word ‘baptizo’ which means FULLY WET. Not just a part of the body, but the whole body to be submerged fully under water.

Baptism is a symbolism of the Gospel – the DEATH, BURIAL and RESURRECTION of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ died for man, and so by accepting Jesus Christ, our sins DIED as well and BURRIED, so as we ARISE with this new life we are new and clean in the sight of God.

4.) RIGHT AUTHORITY – the Church

Just as there is a Right Candidate for baptism, there is also the Right Authority. Who are the authorized people who can perform this act? According to the Bible (in the verse which I could not remember), the one who is qualified to the baptism are the ones who are ordained. Most likely, the head pastor of a church is the one authorized to do the baptism.

After the baptism, technically speaking, you became a member of the church. (I remember the Bible story when 3,000 people was baptized. That’s the passage I forgot).

There, you became a member of the church where you can serve God through a ministry.

At the end of the meeting with Pastor Mhan, he told us that we should really pray that nothing unusal would happen because the Devil will be making a way to stop this act of obedience towards God.

And that what started this entry.
There is a struggle in my heart, because Art is still wounded because of recent events.

But hey, remember that God is above everything, including our emotions.

There's no space for BrainfadeSPY right now...

164: Releasing Pain

The week end had been a painful one. Well, as far as I expected I should be baptized by last Sunday, but Pastor Man cancelled it to be resumed this Saturday. Anyway, I am not hurt because of the cancelled baptism, although it would be ideal if I’ll be baptized on a Sunday instead of a Saturday.

This Saturday woke me up with very not nice things, things that would blow my temper off. I couldn’t face this fact, that I hurriedly took a bath and went to FBC. I had no other place to run to, so FBC was the first choice to go to, hoping that the stillness of the place would calm my mood.

When I got there, I saw ate Mylin and she invited me to attend the Jabez prayer meeting. Well, okay, since I have nothing better to do. It was kind a weird, I don’t know what to expect really. I just sat there.

The March Ka-birth has a special focus of that day’s gathering and they have the privilege to speak up their personal prayer requests and say a little testimonial.
Perhaps, they thought that I’m part of the March ka-birth, ate Violy asked for my prayer request.

Deep inside I was telling myself, “Oh my gosh, get a hold of yourself. Don’t burst out.” I got myself collected in a matter of seconds; I didn’t know what to say.

I just slowly said, “I am praying for a new job. Also, for my family that someday they will eventually attend the church. It’s been eight years, and there’s a complicated situation behind that.” I also said, “I am thankful to the Lord that He has given me the courage to attend the church... and soon to be baptized."

That’s it. I got teary eyes, good thing I’m wearing my lightly tinted eye glasses. I wish I could tell them that I’m having a heavy burden right now that’s why I’m early here.
Attending Jabez is great actually; I felt my burden was lessened somehow.

After that, I went ‘mall touring’ and ‘road tripping’ with the Pinpin family. I was somehow able to tell my dilemma with mam Amor. She did advise me indirectly some things, but still I tend to not to abide some. I know if I ever decide to leave my place, I will still never be happy about the situation. I don’t want to live a peaceful life while my family does not.
At least, my time spent with the Pinpin family even help me to aspire more for a better family. Hope is such a strengthening thing.

I went home late; actually I dropped by to the near Internet rental shop first. Just to let my mind off to the problem that’s been scarring me. I wrote the poem, “Sometimes I Want to Give Up”, because that’s what I really feel that time.
In a way, I was able to speak my mind about what I want to do – give up. If I don’t have a God to entrust my life with, most probably I did give up a long time ago.

Moments later that, Knight asked me something about the Anime IPPO. Somehow, that question reminded me of a strong and good character exhibited by Ippo Makuonouchi. And it did somehow brought another little spec of self-encouragement that this problem is just another round in the boxing ring.

The next morning is Sunday; I tend not to exhibit any sadness in my heart to anyone. I’d like to keep it to myself. It was a fine day, though once in a while I get to remember my tight spot. I thought once again, it would be best if my family would turn themselves to the Lord. Maybe this burden won’t be happening. Again, I just believe that God has a purpose for this. What is it, I don’t know yet.

That night, I got a video CD. Its title is “In the Beginning”. It is a Bible movie; I haven’t finished watching it yet. I thanked the giver about the CD which started a conversation. At first it was a light and fun conversation, but when the topic shifted about the baptism and my family, the mood changed. I guess, the pain in my heart was awakened by the sudden question regarding it. And unconsciously, I blurted out my real problem to Watcher. Maybe I trust that Watcher won’t tell a soul about my problem. I really have no intention to tell it to him, but hey, it just happened. I felt like I just backstabbed my family.

The next day, I also had a fun chat with Knight. And he told me that in a sense I never really backstabbed my mother; it’s a good thing to release those pain, ‘lason sa heart’ as he said it. Actually, I never get the term ‘lason sa heart’ in its truest essence. I just have to be careful to whom I should release those pains, and I should also be aware about myself.

Little by little, my pain is soothing. I was able to write the poem "My Battleground" last night.

But still, the pain is still here... it’s still quite heavy.

Honestly, right now, while I’m writing this narration, I just realized what I haven’t done yet - - - it’s having a serious talk with my Father. Yes, I do pray about it everyday. But this time, I think this call for a real heart to heart talk.

I haven’t TOTALLY released it to HIM.

So I think, I’d be having a busy night this evening; a meeting with BOSS ALMIGHTY.