207: Neneng Paso (Lady Burn)

Being a nocturnal creature mode again these past few nights, having fun with popsicle craft sticks (which I haven't done since I was in elementary), I came accross of using my not-so favorite art weapon - the GLUE GUN.

As much as I dread using this tool, I have no choice.
And as usual, the gushing hot melt glue never failed to touch my hands' skin.

My co-artists at BTBJVC branded me with this code name "Neneng Paso", because everytime, and at approximately every ten minutes, I jump out of chair because of pain caused by the sudden drips of hot melt glue - not just in my hands mind you. I also have several clothes ruined because of this type of adhesive.

I always have troubles with adhesives: contact cement stinks, liquid acrylic bonding agents are expensive, pastes doesn't stick well, glue sticks are only perfect for paper crafs, white glues dries slow, quick dry glues - well, dries too fast.

Leaving the hot melt glue, though it could scorch your wits out, a perfect choice - cheap and the drying time is fairly well.

Oops - another disadvantage though is that electricity is needed. Not too mention - it could be bulky when carelessly applied.

Well I guess, that's one of the sacrifices of being a craft artist - so every time I use a glue gun, it's as if someone is pointing a gun at me and saying,

"STICK 'EM UP!"

Reminiscing those nights,
Agent Art Jeni JM a.k.a. Lady Burn

206: Photography

Out of boredom, I did some photography of various things inside our home.

205: A Letter From Satan

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray.
As a matter of fact, you didn’t even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night.
You are so unthankful, I like that about you.
I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine.
Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and, I still dont love you yet.
As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God.
He kicked me out of heaven, and I’m going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you.
But you have yielded your life to me, and I’m going to
make your life a living hell.
That way, we’ll be together twice. This will really hurt
God. Thanks to you, I’m really showing Him who’s boss in your life with all of the good times we’ve had.
We have been…
watching dirty movies, cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back stabbing people, not respecting adults and elders, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church or yourself, how about not even going to church, or when you get there it’s almost over, bad attitudes, busybody, what about loving each other, love thy neighbor? Oh that’s right.. everyone gets on your nerves! Hah!
SURELY you don&’t want to give all this up.
Come on, Fool, let’s burn together forever. I’ve got some hot plans for us.
This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
I’d like to say “THANKS” for letting me use you for most of your foolish life.
You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in.
HA HA HA, you make me sick.
Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood.
So go ahead and teach some children how to sin.
All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while
under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live
being as selfish as possible.
Do all of this in the presence of children and they will
do it too. Kids are like that.
Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I’ll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left.
It’s not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and be still sinning, it’s becoming a bit ridiculous, it’s even funny to see you sitting there reading this as if you are surprised.
Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you.
IT’S JUST THAT YOU’D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.
P.S. If you love me, you won’t share
this you will just keep it to yourself..

203: Pen & Pad Equals Art

202: True Christmas: Take Christ

It’s the long holiday time of the year again. I still get the inkling expression from my friends when they wonder why at church; Christmas is not celebrated during the, uhm, well, Christmas season. ( I believe I have posted a year or two ago the technical reasons why I find the Christmas Season as a perfect ‘Commercialism Season’, and thus, if you can be patient enough you can look for it among the post list.)

But I can share a few thoughts in here.

Christmas: time for gifts, food and various jollity.

For me, Christmas is a daily celebration for those who individually appreciate the birth of Christ in a deeper level - a personal level. Jesus is a gift from God. It is a gift for all that no one in this world can supersede, which I truly believe by faith. But God’s gift doesn’t merely end in Jesus’ birth. As a matter of fact, it was just the beginning. Thinking it over, Jesus’ lifestyle on His stay here on earth has a long list of gifts just waiting to be opened. It is jam-packed with knowledge and wisdom which was utterly shared for our own good. It’s like you are opening a new gift each time you read the Bible and mumble a prayer of thanks, and usually, follows a long list of ‘wanted gifts’ as well. His death was the climax of His precious gift with a grand conclusion of resurrection.

I think it doesn’t matter whether other people celebrate it the way they know it, as long as Christians celebrate it the way they know it. Putting Jesus Christ above all things. Above all those presents, parties and gatherings.

If angels, shepherds and wise men took the effort to celebrate Christ’s birth, why can’t we?

When the angels knew that Jesus Christ had been born - They celebrated.

When the shepherd found Jesus on the manger - They celebrated.

When the wise men found Jesus on a house (after two years) - They celebrated.

But wait. They haven’t seen him physically yet when they started celebrating. The thought and the belief that Jesus Christ had been born started the celebration in their hearts.

And it doesn’t matter what time frame they were there to celebrate it. That’s the fascinating part about it. Celebrating Christ’s birth is not constricted in a specific time frame. Any true believer can celebrate it anytime, even everyday. Jesus’ birth is a gift of all ages; not bounded with time.

I have read once in a book that God had opened his heart when He gave Jesus, isn’t it time to open yours?



On one Christmas season, while Ynny was eating her breakfast, she greeted Jesus,

“Happy Birthday Lord, whenever it is…truly”

On the next morning, she did the same,

“Thank you for coming to Earth to save me.”

And on the following days, and every time she remembers,

“Thank you for coming.”

But one day, she asked,

“Why are there not any specific records of Your birth? Some historical records survived. Why haven’t you allowed Yours to be known?”

It took days, but somehow, she got an answer,

“It is better that way. Each man accepts Me in their hearts in their own special time, and that is when I am truly born in their lives to save them. That is when they can truly celebrate My birthday, the True Christmas. For my coming to earth is beyond the physical birth as you can see. When they Take Me as their Christ, then the essence of True Christmas will take place”

201: CraftyScrap: RC Bottle

200: Luna

I talked to the moon last night, and how asked how it feels to be surrounded with stars. The moon made no reply, and casted moonbeams on my friends. It made me blank for a while, and then suddenly a smile was drawn. I realized that I've been surrounded with stars, and I know what it feels like all along.

For my SST friends who adopted me. 040907

199: Four Boyfriends

Once upon a time there was this girl who had four (4)
boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared
> that one day he would leave her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever
> this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he
> would help her get through the difficult times..
>
> The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had
> made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and
> kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend.
> Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him.
>
>
> One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short.
> She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have
> four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I’ll be all
> alone.’
>
> Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, I loved you the most,
> endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care
> over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and
> keep me company?’ ‘No way!’, replied the 4th
> boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His
> answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.
>
> The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, ‘I loved you
> all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and
> keep me company?’ ¡No!¢, replied the 3rd boyfriend.
> ‘Life is too good! When you die, I’m going to marry
> someone else!’ Her heart sank and turned cold.
>
> She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, ‘I have always turned
> to you for help and you’ve always been there for me.
> When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?’
> ‘I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time
> replied the 2nd boyfriend. ‘At the very most, I can only
> walk with you to your grave.’ His answer struck her like
> a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.
>
> Then a voice called out: ‘I’ll go with you.
> I’ll follow you no matter where you go.’
>
> The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He
> was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and
> neglect. Greatly grieved, the girl said, ‘I should have
> taken much better care of you when I had the chance!’
>
> In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:
>
> Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time
> and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave
> you when you die.
>
> Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.
> When you die, it will all go to others.
>
> Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter
> how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can
> stay by you is up to the grave.
>
> And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul, Often neglected in
> pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
>
> However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you
> where ever you go.. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it
> now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to
> the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.
>
>
> Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to
> your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.

198: Innocence in Music

(October 22, 2008)

197: Sketched with Lab

(October 7, 2008)

196: Still Life: Comment Your Own Interpretation

(October 15, 2008)

195: Board Exam Humdrum 2: Anticipating

(October 15, 2008)

194: Eternal Truth

God created the heaven and the earth - - - including man.

God and man lived harmoniously.

Man was given power over all other creations, a serene accord between nature and humanity. Man was also aware of the Spiritual realm, a barrier free relationship between God and man. Everything was good.

God, with all His graciousness towards man, forbade only one thing - - - the consumption of the fruit from the Knowledge of Good and Evil Tree.
Man obeyed accordingly.

Until one day, a thing came to change the eternal purpose of man - - - a beast that hid his nature with deceitful words provoked man that eating the fruit will do no harm.

It made man eat the prohibited fruit. Man thought it would open up their eyes, but what it did was to put down the lid of their sight from the light of truth.

Because of disobedience, the connection between God and man was broken. And the beast roamed freely over the earth. On the contrary, the beast had a beautiful appearance and possessed supernatural powers that man fear and respect. The beast has followers of his kind, and they were called demons.

These demons, including the mightiest of them, were in fact fallen angels, followers of God during the ancient times. But what made them fallen was the decision they chose to go against God. And so, with this nature, the demons wanted man to do the same. They deceive every man that is born on earth. They try every means to totally destroy man’s awareness of God. And they continue to do so until now.

But unlike these angels, God loved man so much. Though it grieved God of man’s defiance, He still have a great plan to bring the connection back once again. God promised that He will send the Messiah – a Savior who will rescue man from eternal destruction.

And when the fullness of time came, the Messiah was born to earth.

The Messiah did what God had willed Him to do. He lived a humble life in a carpenter’s home. The Messiah lived a life that man was originally designed to do. Building a life day by day as any ordinary man does until the age of mission has come. He started to spread the very Words of God and spoke of man’s true destiny and the real Kingdom of God. Many believed the Messiah, but more was against Him.

The demons, aware that the Messiah is the fulfillment of God’s promise, were threatened. They devised various ways to hinder the Messiah’s mission which included a brutal death.

The demons’ deceptions and man’s wicked nature rejected the Messiah. They discarded Him, bruised Him and nailed Him on the cross – the most vicious death of that time. It was the darkest scene. Sinless as the Messiah is, He was shamefully wounded in a brutal way. The Son of God died in the hands of the son of man.

The demons thought they defeated the Messiah, but they had thought it wrong. The darkest scene turned out to be the greatest thing in the history of man. For you see, through the death of the Messiah, the prophecy is fulfilled, the shedding of the blood will cleanse man’s sin. But that’s not the whole picture of Salvation. The Messiah, after three days of death, rose from His grave. He had overcome death itself that all may live as well.

But there’s a requirement for man to gain reconnection with God once again.

Just as God had forbidden one thing to prevent man from eternal death, God now only requires one thing to gain eternal life - - - a personal faith in the Messiah – the God in the flesh, the Savior Jesus Christ. This is the eternal truth that every man must know.

Many believed the Messiah, but more are still against Him.

And those who chose to believe Him carry on the mission that the Messiah had started thousands of years ago.

And every believer knows by heart, the greatest mission from the start – A personal relationship with God from creation to eternal beyond.

[JM.Relaxing] Board Exam na bukas!!!!

(September 30, 2008)

193: Checking In Today

A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,

The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn’t shaved in a while.

His shirt was kind a shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,

the man knelt, he bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
eac h noon time came this chap,

each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister’s suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,

He decided to stop the man and ask him,
“What are you doing here?”

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.

Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.

“I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;

as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kind a what I say:

“I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,

BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM

CHECKING IN TODAY.”

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.






He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said “Thanks.”
He hurried to the door.

The minister knelt at the altar,
he’d never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.

As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim’s prayer:

“I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT

I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY”

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn’t come.






As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.

The hospital staff was worried,
But he’d given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.

His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn’t understand
why Jim was so glad,

when no flowers, calls or car ds came,
Not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse’s concern:

No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;

“the nurse is wrong, she couldn’t know,
that in here all the while

everyday at noon He’s here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,

He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:”

I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS

CHECKING IN TODAY.



(September 29, 2008)

192: Reviewing The Review

Moment ko na mag-draft ng Interior Design plate, pero hindi pa natuloy. Wala kaming exam stub ni Heidi na galling sa PRC, kaya ayun, sumugod kami dun. Una, naisip ko, siguro eto na yun God’s way para makapaghanda pa ako ng matagal at next year na lang mag exam. To be honest, mas gusto ko na wag mag-take, so many informations na hindi ko talaga naaral.
It doesn’t show, even to myself, na kabado nga ata ako. Eton a nga ang tanging chance ko makapagdesign, naudlot pa! Paano na?
Inisip ko siguro hindi talaga ako pang board exam, ang daming hadlang. Hay, kaya ayun, umuwi ako ng hindi oras at pumunta ng PRC. Pag dating doon, eh ayous naman pala kahit walang stub dahil nagbago na ng system ang PRC. Toklay naman talaga oo!

Wala ring excitement at hindi rin relieved. “Ok…” yun lang ang tumakbo sa isip ko.

Mukhang tuloy na tuloy na ang exam, schedule and location na lang ang kulang. Kung para sa akin ang exam na ito, magagawa ko.

Nag-enjoy at nagkwentuhan na lamang kami ni Dei sa pinakamalapit na McDo. Kung hindi matutuloy ang exam, nakapanghihinayang ang binayad at mga nagastos sa PRC, requirements, kagamitan at pinaghalong worries at oras na inugol sa pag aaral. Nung una, hindi ako nanghihinayang, pero ngayong nakapag-isip na ako, nakakapanghinayang nga. (Hay, masakit na ulo ko ngayon.)

Pag –uwi ko, dumaan muna ako sa isang internet shop para mag unwind at i-upload ang latest comic-artwork ko. Kaso lang, another story chapter for the day, may nag-hack ng Friendster ko. Ayun, hay nako naman talaga oo! Wala na akong magagawa pa, nabura na ang mga nabura at hindi na maibabalik pa. Sana, system lang ng Friendster ang nasira at inisiip ko lang na may nag-hack ng Friendster ko. Kaso, wala na akong magagawa pa kung hindi isigaw ang frustration ko sa GM. Na-wrong group send pa nga ako, bukod sa BS. Hrrr…. Saying naman talaga ang mga nabura.

Nag-reply si DV, at nagtanong kung tapos nab a ang board exam ko, at syempre mejo naulit ang kwento ng problema sa PRC… naalala ko lang sa bandang gitna ng usapan sabi niya, “Gamitin mo lang ang ultimate technique” Naisip ko, “Dasal”

Pero sabi nya yun Hebrews 11:6, “Without faith, it is impossible to please Him.”

Makalipas ang 1 hour, tsaka ko lang ninamnam ang mga salita… oo nga naman, dasal ako ng dasal, pero minsan parang hindi ko pinapaniwalaan na matutupad ang dalangin ko. Kaya siguro, eto, tuliro ako. Pumasa man ako o hindi, mas masarap ang masabi na nagtiwala ako kay God sa pagsusulit na iyon kesa sa nakapaghanda nga ako ng isang taon at nakapasa dahil sa nakapag-aral ako. For God’s greater glory and grace, papasa ako!

Naisip ko tuloy, kung faith exam ang nangyari sa problema ko sa PRC kanina, malamang bagsak ako. Tsk!

Alam ko mababa ang self-confidence ko, pero kanina, kung susuungin ko nga ang exam na ito na umaasa sa malfunctioning brain and attitude ko, siguro nga nararapat lang ako na bumagsak. Kung tatakbuhan ko ang exam na ito, simple lang ang sagot, umaasa lang kasi ako sa sarili kong karunungan.

Tama, ngayon ko lang naisip, binigyan ako ng Diyos ng kakayahan sa field na ito, sa mundo ng disenyo, at alam ko bibigyan rin Nya ako ng kakayahan sa pagsusulit na ito. Nung una, ang naiisip ko, magkakamilagro sa araw ng exam at lahat ng alam ko ang sagot

ang lalabas na mga tanong. Masaya sana yun, pero may mas magandang paraan, ang mabiyayaan ka ng kakayahan. Ayoko na sayangin ang meron ako, kung negosyo ang ability na ito, na bankcrupt na ako. Pero hindi pa naman huli para bumangon uli. Kahit umuulan ang panahon ngayon, nanjan lang ang araw sa tabi tabi, kaya nga makulimlim man, nakakakita pa rin ng maayos.

Magdasal ng may pananampalataya at all times… yun ang bumatok sa akin ngayon.

Walang binatbat ang payo ni Archi board passer. Hehehe… Toklay ka talaga JM!

I don’t know what will happen, an exam is an exam. Everybody is trying their shot, and I am going to take as many shots as I needed.

May mga nag take at pumasa

Meron ding bumagsak

May mga nagreview school na bumagsak

At meron ding nag self-study na pumasa

Hindi ko alam kung may nag-take na nagkaroon ng brain damage

Pero kung sakaling wala pa, ako ang mauuna

Iba’t Ibang sitwasyon

Iba’t ibang resulta

Pero, ngiti lang

God is in control di ba?

Ang emote ba over a board exam? Deal with it. Ako ito. [Just Me]




(September 29, 2008)

191: Board Exam Humdrum

190: God's Pharmacy

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!

God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!



A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.



A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopene and are indeed pure heart and blood food.



Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows gra pes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.



A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemis ph ere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.



Kidney Beans
actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.




Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.



Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 ph otolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).



Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.



Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.



Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries



Oranges,
Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the m ovement of lym ph in and out of the breasts.




Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.



SUBJECT: Psalm 46:19
‘Be Still and Know that I AM GOD’

189: Not As Huge As Reality

Unfortunately we can’t force someone to love us. I know how painful it can be. Distance is obviously going to be a problem for you when it comes to this. Try working this out in a journal, I know that sounds corny, but when you write down your internal hopes and fears and feelings, and then go back and read them, sometimes you will notice how they don’t seem as huge in reality. Try and refocus your energies on something else for a while, your feelings won’t change over night, but you can work on accepting the fact that there will not be a connection between the two of you beyond what you have already shared. You will get through this, and you will find a special person who will appreciate in you all of the parts that make you lovable and worthy. God bless.

OKay…. I got this paragraph of sentiments over somebody’s friendster while I was loosely browsing around using mr. X’s friendster account. I was at the brink of depressing memories when suddenly I had read this. What’s amazing was that before I got to read this is I was thinking of reading an old ‘journal about mr.X’. And if you had read the paragraph above, you’ll get what I’m trying to say.



After two years and eight months, and suddenly striking veins of memories crept my mind. Oh well, maybe this reviewing of my scholastic lessons raised some memories back from the dead, or perhaps the memory-drug I’ve been taking had awakened some sleeping memory cells. Heck, whatever.



But still, it was comforting to read that paragraph… In a way, I am reminded again that God is hearing my very thoughts every moment and He is using different tactics to comfort me now.



Tears are dropping…another chance to shout “Kamote! Emote!”


(Septemer 15, 2008)

188: Ang Technique Para Ma-Lessen ang Pressure sa Exam

“Wag mong isipin na iyan ang kinabukasan mo. It’s just a test. Pasa man o bagsak, gigising ka pa din kinabukasan. Kakain pa din. Hahanap buhay pa din.”

Payo ng isang 6th placer sa Architecture board exam.

Buti na lang eh hindi isang superstition ang sasabihin nya. May mga nagpayo sa akin ng kumain ng ganito ng ganito, mag-alay ng ganito at ganun, wag magpagupit ng buhok, magdasal ng sampung ama na min at tumalon ng 3x para tumangkad. heheh… joke lang

So stressed nga ba ako over reviewing? Nakukuha ko pa magbulakbol dito sa internet. Hindi ko na kasi ma-absorb ang mga information so I have to stop once in a while.

Last night, nakuha ko i-describe ang open specification ng aking brain.

Approximately 15″ in diameter, filled with slimy substance, impervious finish (having an absorption level of 0.03%, decorated with an irresistible face)

Siguro, in doing this, I can say that I have learned something in my reviewing.

Impervious… heeh!

Pressured kasi wala na akong career na maisip kapag hindi ako pumasa…. pero malabo rin ang career kapag pumasa. Ambot!

Minsan I think I’m not really cut for interior designing, it’s so stressful and I don’t have the temperament over such things lately. And, this thing called ’self-confidence’ hasn’t really doing it’s job well. All I want to do is to stare at the wall, at the ceiling and at the floor…and TING! Wah! Wall, ceiling floor is still part of interior designing, and I think I’m going to be stuck in this vortex of ‘what-to-do-with-life’ forever.

Unless I see something really worthy about this profession, I won’t be able to give my best shot. The old, passionate me was gone….Oh sigh.

Back to the wisdom

“Wag mong isipin na iyan ang kinabukasan mo. It’s just a test. Pasa man o bagsak, gigising ka pa din kinabukasan. Kakain pa din. Hahanap buhay pa din.”

This gave me quite a slap on the face. He’s right, whether I pass the exam or not, life will still go on and the earth will continue to it’s usual cycle.

Though it seems to me that it would be the end of my career in failing this Interior Design Board Exam, I still have to believe that all things work together for good for those who love Him. Ayan verse yan sa Bible.

Wala. Bible pa rin ang bagsak ko. Si God pa rin ang tatakbuhan ko. Haha! Kahit anung wisdom ang i-share sa akin, yun pa rin ang dulo. Kahit anung emote ko dito, ngingiti pa rin ako…dahil nga ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.

[KIOKS! Magmadre na lng kaya ako. Ayaw. hahaha!]



Oo nga pala, naalala ko…. Pressure is not naturally there… Anjan yan when you start to doubt your capacity… and also… If you know what God can do…there should never be a pressure. Paraphrased, di ko maalala e. heheh! KIOKS! Mag-aaral na nga ako….wahu!

(September 11, 2008)

187: Adik!

adik daw ang sumuko…

bakit nyo ako tinatawag na adik?

hahaha!

bsta memorize ko na un basic anthropometrics…hehe… latest improvement!

after 6 years, ngayon lang ulit ako nag attempt mag-memorize. My lips are about to crack, my nose is bleeding, and the nerves in my brain seem to split apart. Kung uso ang divorce sa Philippines, baka nag-divorce na ang right and left side ng brain ko.

yun lang. papampam.

Added to the anthropometric knowledge is that I know how a toilet bowl works. Very hygienic. Cool mechanism.

The ultimate goal of design is to fulfill human satisfaction. Vain in a sense. This is so superficial, I still don’t see much importance in this career. [whoops] And I don’t get it…. siguro nga adik talaga ako. Unappreciative in a sense… I still don’t know what to do in life.

And ang hirap magreview.. panu mo nga naman ba ire-review kung dati naman ay hindi talaga naituro…ARAL tawag dun…kaya, ang hirap mag-aral. hehehe…. no offense to my alma matter… everybody knows the situation back then.

Plan ko maging prof… plan pa lng… kpag pumasa. hahaha! Kaso kailangan ko pa mag masteral…nkakatamad na nga mag-aral…masteral pa… bahala na nga….



nagugutom na ako… heheeh!



Adik, signing out!

(September 9, 2009)

186: Pilipino Ako!

Mga samu’t saring tula

Na Aking nilikha

Upang gunitain

Ang Buwan ng Wika


TULA [Revival 2008]

Sa pagsusulat ng tula
Sa pagbasa at pagkatha
Saan huhugutin ang bawat salita
Na ilalatag sa talata
Madalas kathang isip
Minsan katotohanan
Pero saan nga ba ito nakukuha
Sa isip ba o kaluluwa?Bakit ba tila
Ang lalim ng aking Tula
Hindi ko maintindihan
Ang aking pagiging makata

Siguro nga ay wala lang ako magawa
Lalo na at mgulo ang aking utak
Siguro dapat na nga akong matulog
Bukas, sa trabaho, ako ay may pasok pa

Teka, teka, teka, aking naalala
Bukas nga pala ay bakasyon muna
Walang batang makulit, at mga pasaway na paslit
Happy, happy muna kami ni kaibigang Dane




“BANGON NA PILIPINAS! MASARAP ANG ALMUSAL!”

Minsan ko na nabasa ang katagang ito sa isang libro.

Almusal – masarap ang almusal ng Pinoy.

Mainit na pandesal na isasawsaw sa kape.

Amoy pa lang, kanin at ulam na. Masarap!

Handa nanaman sa pagsugod sa panibagong araw.

Naisip ko – kung ganito ang diwa ng bawat Pilipino

Mainit na PusongPinoy na isasawsaw sa napakayamang lupain ng Pilipinas,

Ang sarap langhapin, ang sarap lasapin, ang sarap lunukin,

Parang handa nanaman sa panibagong pagsulong ng bansa.

Bangon na Pilipinas! Masarap ang Almusal!

Ang pagiging Pilipino natin ay Kaloob ng Diyos.

Bilang Pilipino na sa kahit saan man sa mundo ay patok

O sa magagandang dagat man at matataas na bundok

Bangon na Pilipinas! Masarap ang Almusal!
Ang lahat sa atin ay nakahain na
Ating lasapin ang pagiging Pilipino
Ang tunay na yaman ng Pilipinas

PULA, ASUL, DILAW at PUTI?

Pula, Asul at Dilaw

Pangunahing Kulay ng bandila ng Pilipinas?

Ang sagot mo ay wagi.

Ito rin ang tatlong pangunahing kulay o “Primary Colors” sa ingles.

Kung pagsasamahin ang tatlong ito, samu’t saring kulay ang mabubuo.

Gayon din sa ating mga Pilipino:

Pula para sa pag-ibig sa bansa at sa kapwa

Asul para sa katapatan at kalayaan

Dilaw para sa mga masasayang ngiti at pananaw natin sa buhay

Kapag pinagsama ang mga katangiang Pinoy na ito,

Tiyak na sa buong mundo tayo ay lalago!

At ang puti?

hindi ito tinuturing na isang kulay,

ito’y pantay sa anumang bagay,

Ito ang nagsisimbulo ng Pinakadakila sa lahat.

Ang kadakilaan ng ating Panginoong Lumikha

Kung wala Sya, wala rin saysay ang lahat.

Kaya matuwa ka Pinoy dahil Pinoy ang kulay mo!

Sa katangian mong Pula, Asul, Dilaw at Puti

Na kaloob sa atin ng Dakilang Lumikha,

Maraming bagay ang iyong mamimithi!

Pula, Asul, Dilaw at Puti!


“GOD BLESS OUR TRIP”


Ito ang karatulang karaniwang mababasa sa Jeep o pampublikong sasakyan.

Sa taas ba naman ng pamasahe ba naman ngaun, nais ko talaga banggitin yun. (oops! walang ending) heheh! Sana may manlibre ng pamasahe. Kioks!

[JM] Kanya-kanyang trip lang yan. Still. God bless our trip!

(August 23, 2008)

185: Komposisyon ng Bagong Gising [Hikab]

Kung ang Toy Story 1 ay may Toy Story 2, kung ang Shrek 1, ay may Shrek 2, at ang Dark Knight ay may part two na Prom Night (???Rog!???), papahuli ba naman ako? Syempre may sequel din ang komposisyon ko kaninang madaling araw.
Sa wakas, masasabi ko rin na naging mahaba ang tulog ko, 7 hours. Siguro dahil wala naman akong ibang aalalahanin pa sa ngayon. Pwede ako mag relak-relak muna.
Mali ang oras dito sa Friendster, 10:56 pm ko daw nag-post dito sa bulletin board. Pero pasada 1:00 am ko itinitik ang “Komposisyon ng Walang tulog”. Hindi ayos ang world time setting. Kaya ngaun pa lang, sinasabi ko na 9:00 am na.
Nakakaramdam na ako ng kaba sa nalalapit na board exam. Tatlong taon na rin akong walang kinalaman sa Interior Design kaya isa sa mga unang naisip ko sa paggising ko ang ipagpatuloy ang pagbabasa.
Pero… naalala ko ang isang text message na galing sa isang kaibigan,
“Whenever I feel like working….
I lie down unil the feeling is gone.”
Kaya naisip ko, humiga muna ng mas matagal, and then…
[ting!(sound epek) sabay ilaw ng isang naninilaw na bumbilya sa aking bumbunan.] Epektib nga ang text message. Wise indeed!
Hindi muna ako mag-aaral sa araw na ito. Bubwelo lang ako. Magpapahinga ng buong araw. I-kokondisyon ang utak sa bugbug na matatanggap nito sa darating na dalawang buwan, para maka-iwas sa stress. At higit sa lahat, ay lalapit ako ng matindi kay Boss Almighty… hay. Sakto prayer meeting mamaya. Pero, araw araw ko na itong nilalapit, kaya, ngiti lng ako lagi kapag nagsisimula na akong kabahan at magpanic.
Relaxation day: Kinain ko ang mga natitira pang cake ng kasal. This could be the start of something new. Kagaya ng Nanay ko na nagsisimula ng kanyang bagong buhay, ganun din ako uumpisahan ko sa pagkain ng cake. Maraming pagkain sa ref, tahimik ang bahay, makalat ang kwarto. Hangover ng pagmamadali nitong mga nakaraang araw at lamayan sa guestbook.
Moment ko na magligpit, maglaba, at tuluyang linisin ang paligid. Hay, sana lang wag ako magkasakit. Kapag nakasagap ako ng alikabok na mula sa paglilinis, sumasama ag pakiramdam ko.
Moment para kamustahin ang mga kaibigan,resbakan ang mga kaaway at inggitin ang mga nasa trabaho. Dahil simula bukas, ang makakaharap ko na lamang ay libro, gel pen in multi colours at sketch pad.
Moment ko na mag-exercise dahil lolobo ako sigurado sa pag-aaral. Pero ang moment na to, tila ayokong gawin.
Moment ko na mag-sound trip, last week kasi habang nagbabasa ako may music. Mas name-memorize ko pa ang lyrics ng kanta kesa sa ina-aral ko. Isa itong malaking problema. I can’t live without music.
Moment ko na mag-picture taking. Para meron akong remembrance ng looks ko before and after the exam. Malamang Jubby Chen nanaman ako afterwards.
Moment ko na rin magkalkal ng college books, materials, notebooks at kung anu-anu pa. Siurado mag-eemote moments ako nito dahil mabubuksan ang mga lumang alaala.
Moment ko na mag-internet, kaya nga andito ako ngaun diba?
Moment ko na rin magpafull body massage, two weeks ko na ito pina-plano,sana nga magawa ko na ito mamaya jan sa Cubao.
Moment ko na mag-moments-of-lab, kaso lang ang pinakamamahal kong violin eh wala na sa tono, at ang kawalan ko ng practice ng 3 months ay talagang nakapag-kapoof ng skills ko dito. Kya pag-iisipan ko kung itutuloy ko ang moment na ito.
Gusto ko rin sana mag-moment sa Enchanted Kingdom. Gusto ko sakyan lahat ng rides at magpaka-hilo. Kaso malabo gawin ito.
Siguro sapat na ang mga moments na ito sa araw na ito. I only have a day to live these planned moments.
Nilalabas ko na ang aking kadaldalan, at kung sakaling bigla akong tumahimik, eto ay dahil sa seryoso na akong mag-aaral.
Eto ang moments of thoughts ng isang bagong gising na nagsisimula na mangarap.
Papasa ba ako sa exam o hindi?
Hindi ko alam
ang alam ko lang I will do my best and God will do the rest according to His will.
[ngiti lng lagi]
KIOKS!

(August 13, 2008)

184: Komposisyon ng Walang Tulog [Bow]

Ilang gabi na rin akong hindi makatulog. Hindi ito maganda sa pakiramdam. Nakakabagot makipag-bonding twing madaling araw sa unan, kumot at kama na tila hindi kayo magkasundo kung anung pwesto ng pagtulog ang gagawin upang tuluyan nang maka-idlip. Minsan, lilibangin ka na lang rin ng butiking nakakapit sa kisame at lalo ka pang magigising kung may biglang lumipad na ipis a nagfi-feeling soaring high sa iyong silid na nananahimik.

Hindi ko alam ang sanhi ng aking pagka-walan ng tulog. Una, ang akala ko, hindi lang siguro ako sanay sa no-work schedule simula nung umalis ako sa trabaho. Nabigla siguro sa biglang pahinga. Nagkaroon ako ng trangkaso sa unang araw ng bakasyon. Hanep diba? At nagpabalik-balik ang sakit sa loob ng dalawang linggo.

Pangalawa, nagsimula rin ito nang simulan kong basahin ang History of Architecture na libro. Hindi ko alam kun nag-evolve na nang tuluyan ang allergy ko sa Interior Design o Na-stress siguro masyado ang utak ko sa information overload. Dapat nga eh napagod ang utak ko, pero sa kabaligtaran, na-stimulate ata ito. At kahit bagsak na ang katawan ko, gusto ko pa rin magbasa ng magbasa kahit hindi naman ito gaanong tumatatak sa aking isipan. Kailangan ko ito tandaan para sa pinapangarap na Board Exam.

Speaking of board exam, nakadagdag din sa aking alalahanin ang walang kasiguraduhan kung makukuha ko nga ba ang exam na ito, o uli nanaman akong mabibigo.

Problema sa pangalan: ilang taon ko na itong problema. Tatlong taon na akong nagtatrabaho pero wala pa rin akong Transcript of Records at Diploma. Buti na lamang ay meron akong angking galing upang matanggap sa mga trabaho (I feel hangin…). Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ayaw ibigay ang transcript of records ko gayung wala naman iba pang gamit eto sa Kolehiyong pinagtapusan ko, sa simpleng papel na ito na maaaring mag-usad sa aking career kung meron man.

Eto na ang walang kamatayang pag asikaso ng legal documents na kinailangan ng idaan sa fixer dahil hindi ko na alam ang gagawin pa. Dalawang linggong paghihintay, kung aprubado ba o hindi.

At sa wakas! August 12, 2008 - Ang tatlong taon kong paghihintay ay natapos na sa araw na ito! Aprub ang mga papeles at may apelido na akong totoo- board exam - here I come!

Pa-pakanta na sana ako ng “Ice-cream, ice cream, ang sarap-sarap” nang biglang sumingit ang isang pamilyar na tunog… “teeteet-teeteet” ang pang-istorbong tunog ng aking cellphone.

Isang mensahe mula sa aking ina, kailangan nya ng guestbook at ako ang gagawa. Nyaks! Oo nga pala, kinabukasan na ang kasal!

Kaya isang gabing walang tulog ang biglang nagkasilbi kahit papaano. Pinaglamayan ko ang super-personalized guestbook ng kasal. Ayuz, moment to shine in my mom’s eyes. Walastic ang guestbook - one of a kind.

Walang tulog - pero may kasal pang dadaluhan. Pinilit kong pumikit kahit saglit, pero ang aking diwa ay naglalakbay pa rin. Kaya pumunta na ako sa kasal. Naligaw pa ako sa paghanap ng venue. Ayuz tlga, pero buti na lng nasa hotel pa lng ang mga ikakasal, kaya instant tagabitbit ang naging role ko sa special occasion na yun.

Habang pinapanuod ko ang kasal, biglang sumagi sa isip ko, teka… kahapon, pareho na kami ng apelido ng Nanay ko, tapos kinakasal na sya ngaun. Ibig sabihin, magpapalit na rin sya ng apelido.

Mahusay,mahusay, siguro,kahit papaano, naranasan ko ng isang araw ang pagiging fully-same-surname kami ng nanay ko. Walastik tlga!

August 13, 2008, kinasal ang nanay ko, first kasal na dinaluhan ko,
first time ko makakain ng special cake ng event,
at first time ko rin kumanta ng videoke sa harap ng maraming tao.

Hindi ko alam bakit kumanta ako sa madla, siguro epekto na rin ng walang tulog, pati sarili ko - hilo na.

Kaya eto, madaling araw na, gising pa rin at pilit nag-papa-antok habang itinititik ko ang komposisyon na ito.

Lasing na ako sa mga iba’t ibang pangyayari, kaya siguro, eto, ang daldal ko.

Salamat sa pagbasa, sana makatulog na ako.KIOKS!


(August 13, 2008)

183: Sometimes I Wanted to Quit

All day I have thought about quiting in everything… everything…and then again, I have read this story mailed by my mother…. oh sigh…


One day I decided to quit…
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
“God”, I asked, “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”
His answer surprised me…
“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”
“Yes”, I replied.
“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo ,” He said.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.” He said.

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

He asked me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don’t compare yourself to others ,” He said.

“The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come , ” God said to me. “You will rise high . ”

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.

“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity. Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!






(I can really relate… and I know what I must do… I just need the strength….)




(February 16, 2008)

182: People Come Into Your Life For A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come
to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

181: Letter For The One God Has Prepared For Me

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.

I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person…. and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!

You just don’t know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!

I don’t really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me — the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice.

After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect — for YOU! I wonder if you’ve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey.

But my dearest one, please don’t ever give up because I am right here… patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.

And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and
once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life — and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don’t even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don’t worry, don’t be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me .

(ha-ha-hi-hi-ho-hi-ho)
(Intimacy is the reward of COMMITMENT) hmmm…saan ko ba nabasa ang line na to? I Kissed Dating Goodbye…


JM - just Sharing