162: Random Thoughts

As of now, I could not think of a reason why I haven’t seriously blogging lately. No words would just come out of my thoughts. That’s why, again, I am free writing; I am hoping that at the end of this composition I would have subconsciously pinned-point the reason.

I guess the decision of not blogging for the whole month of January had caused this sudden inactive mind for writing. Hmm, but on the brighter side, I was able to be a part of a group of real people. I think my ‘loner’ days are over; although still, I don’t have that solid friend just for me which I have always longed for years and years… and I’m still waiting. (That’s what I’m good at, I guess, just quietly waiting.)

As I have said, I had always been a loner. And if you’d browse my old blog entries, it will still deal around about being lonely. I believe that those lonely days are coming to its near end.

I just have noticed that it’s quite hard to have an exclusive friend at the age of twenty. Probably because most people of my age are now longing or having their life time partners to spend most of their time with. You know, singles dating with the opposite sex, and in-love someone’s would be busy dreaming about their special someone’s rather than hanging out with ‘just-friends’. And also maybe because, they have always had a friend who grew up with them; this is just an opinion.

Anyways, I’m having random thoughts here. Right now, honestly, I’m quite broken hearted. One, I have been missing my ‘X’ bf for no special reason; it’s been more than a year since we broke up. Two, at home, I feel like they only care about me being a financial-supporter. Three, at work, I am demoralized by the fact that my salary isn’t increasing. Four, at church, nothing really… my mind is just confused. Five and finally, I don’t know what is wrong with me.

I’ve been really busy for the past two weeks because of the upcoming BPI exhibit next week at Glorietta. Busy in supervising the construction of the display systems, canvassing the materials to be used, layouts for the merchandising and advertising print outs, etcetera and etcetera. And the BPI exhibit next week is not the sole project I have in hand right now. I have one in Festival Mall, Alabang Town Center and two more at Pampangga. I also have window display at SM Cebu due by March 5. Oh geez! Talk about career pressure! (Now, that’s the reason why I have been grunting in my mind about salary increase.)

I am also having a hard time in creating a layout for the LA MUJER ladies fellowship. And until now I am not yet done with the revised layout. The deadline, it’s tomorrow. Wha!!! Church ministry could really eat time also. It’s fine. It’s for the Lord. And this is what I really want. That’s why I call my career-job as my side line job, for my real job is being Christ’s steward.

Oh well, just having random thoughts…

Originally written: 02.21.07